{"version":"1.0","provider_name":"The Onion","provider_url":"https:\/\/theonion.com","author_name":"The Onion Staff","author_url":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/author\/theonionstaff\/","title":"C\u2019mon, Everybody, There\u2019s Too Many Of Us For Them To Stop Us From Jerking Off All At Once!","type":"rich","width":600,"height":338,"html":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"FMd2RLI55K\"><a href=\"https:\/\/theonion.com\/cmon-everybody-theres-too-many-of-us-for-them-to-stop-us-from-jerking-off-all-at-once\/\">C\u2019mon, Everybody, There\u2019s Too Many Of Us For Them To Stop Us From Jerking Off All At Once!<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/theonion.com\/cmon-everybody-theres-too-many-of-us-for-them-to-stop-us-from-jerking-off-all-at-once\/embed\/#?secret=FMd2RLI55K\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\" title=\"&#8220;C\u2019mon, Everybody, There\u2019s Too Many Of Us For Them To Stop Us From Jerking Off All At Once!&#8221; &#8212; The Onion\" data-secret=\"FMd2RLI55K\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n","thumbnail_url":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/Cmon_Everybody_OE_IHA_GR_SOCIAL.png","thumbnail_width":1000,"thumbnail_height":1000,"description":"Gather \u2019round, friends, and lend me your ears! Today, I bring to you a marvelous proposition, one that can become a reality with everyone\u2019s help. It may seem far-fetched at first\u2014the ravings of yet another humble dreamer. But I really believe that we can accomplish this as long as we stay united as one. For [&hellip;]"}