{"version":"1.0","provider_name":"The Onion","provider_url":"https:\/\/theonion.com","author_name":"The Onion Staff","author_url":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/author\/theonionstaff\/","title":"Central European Guy At Other End Of Bar Watching Some Sport With Mallets On Phone","type":"rich","width":600,"height":338,"html":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"opo2vhwwzQ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/theonion.com\/central-european-guy-at-other-end-of-bar-watching-some-sport-with-mallets-on-phone\/\">Central European Guy At Other End Of Bar Watching Some Sport With Mallets On Phone<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/theonion.com\/central-european-guy-at-other-end-of-bar-watching-some-sport-with-mallets-on-phone\/embed\/#?secret=opo2vhwwzQ\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\" title=\"&#8220;Central European Guy At Other End Of Bar Watching Some Sport With Mallets On Phone&#8221; &#8212; The Onion\" data-secret=\"opo2vhwwzQ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n","thumbnail_url":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/Central_European_Man_NIB_IHA-GR-copy.jpg","thumbnail_width":4863,"thumbnail_height":2735,"description":"BRECKSVILLE, OH\u2014Speculating that the unnamed individual was unable to find the broadcast on even the most extensive of satellite TV packages, patrons at the Thirsty Goose Tavern confirmed Friday there was currently a Central European guy sitting at the other end of the bar watching some weird sport with mallets on his phone. \u201cHe\u2019s been [&hellip;]"}