{"version":"1.0","provider_name":"The Onion","provider_url":"https:\/\/theonion.com","author_name":"The Onion Staff","author_url":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/author\/theonionstaff\/","title":"Vasectomy Hot-Wired","type":"rich","width":600,"height":338,"html":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"CxMwyEu0fL\"><a href=\"https:\/\/theonion.com\/vasectomy-hot-wired\/\">Vasectomy Hot-Wired<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/theonion.com\/vasectomy-hot-wired\/embed\/#?secret=CxMwyEu0fL\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\" title=\"&#8220;Vasectomy Hot-Wired&#8221; &#8212; The Onion\" data-secret=\"CxMwyEu0fL\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n","thumbnail_url":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/Vasectomy_Hotwired-NIB-PH-R.jpg","thumbnail_width":2000,"thumbnail_height":1125,"description":"LONG BEACH, CA\u2014Wiping sweat from his brow as he clenched a scalpel in his mouth, a man reportedly hot-wired a vasectomy Friday while his accomplice served as lookout.\u00a0\u201cI\u2019ve got to get in and get out without anyone noticing,\u201d said the unidentified man, whose hands shook as he fumbled with the vas deferens, causing sparks to [&hellip;]"}