{"version":"1.0","provider_name":"The Onion","provider_url":"https:\/\/theonion.com","author_name":"The Onion Staff","author_url":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/author\/theonionstaff\/","title":"Grandma Thankfully Dies Before Sister\u2019s Girlfriend Arrives","type":"rich","width":600,"height":338,"html":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"9ewe5Doreu\"><a href=\"https:\/\/theonion.com\/grandma-thankfully-dies-before-sisters-girlfriend-arrives\/\">Grandma Thankfully Dies Before Sister\u2019s Girlfriend Arrives<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/theonion.com\/grandma-thankfully-dies-before-sisters-girlfriend-arrives\/embed\/#?secret=9ewe5Doreu\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\" title=\"&#8220;Grandma Thankfully Dies Before Sister\u2019s Girlfriend Arrives&#8221; &#8212; The Onion\" data-secret=\"9ewe5Doreu\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n","thumbnail_url":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/Grandma_Dies_NIB_G_PH.jpg","thumbnail_width":2000,"thumbnail_height":1125,"description":"KNOXVILLE, TN\u2014In a development her family began referring\u00a0to as a \u201cstroke of luck,\u201d local 81-year-old Gloria Martin reportedly died Thursday before her granddaughter arrived to Thanksgiving dinner with her girlfriend. \u201cOh, thank God\u2014problem solved, everybody,\u201d said Frank Martin, grandson of the deceased, who reportedly breathed a sigh of relief along with his cousins, aunts, uncles, [&hellip;]"}