{"version":"1.0","provider_name":"The Onion","provider_url":"https:\/\/theonion.com","author_name":"The Onion Staff","author_url":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/author\/theonionstaff\/","title":"Ransom Notes Really Starting To Pile Up","type":"rich","width":600,"height":338,"html":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"duSGxu4HwZ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/theonion.com\/ransom-notes-really-starting-to-pile-up\/\">Ransom Notes Really Starting To Pile Up<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/theonion.com\/ransom-notes-really-starting-to-pile-up\/embed\/#?secret=duSGxu4HwZ\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\" title=\"&#8220;Ransom Notes Really Starting To Pile Up&#8221; &#8212; The Onion\" data-secret=\"duSGxu4HwZ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n","thumbnail_url":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/Ransom_Notes_Keep-NIB-IHA-PH-R.jpg","thumbnail_width":2000,"thumbnail_height":1125,"description":"CORVALLIS, OR\u2014As he tried to avert his gaze from the stress-inducing pile of letters seeking money, local man Todd Fincher remarked Tuesday that the ransom notes on his coffee table were really beginning to pile up. \u201cI\u2019ve been procrastinating on these for months because I just don\u2019t want to deal with them, and now I\u2019ve [&hellip;]"}