{"version":"1.0","provider_name":"The Onion","provider_url":"https:\/\/theonion.com","author_name":"The Onion Staff","author_url":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/author\/theonionstaff\/","title":"Area Family Has No Idea Where Dad Gets Shirts","type":"rich","width":600,"height":338,"html":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"mAouCg1qRf\"><a href=\"https:\/\/theonion.com\/area-family-has-no-idea-where-dad-gets-shirts-1819574264\/\">Area Family Has No Idea Where Dad Gets Shirts<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/theonion.com\/area-family-has-no-idea-where-dad-gets-shirts-1819574264\/embed\/#?secret=mAouCg1qRf\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\" title=\"&#8220;Area Family Has No Idea Where Dad Gets Shirts&#8221; &#8212; The Onion\" data-secret=\"mAouCg1qRf\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n","thumbnail_url":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/awfynepedeehdqyan7or.jpg?w=1024","thumbnail_width":"1024","thumbnail_height":"1024","description":"SHERIDAN, WY\u2014Saying he must get them somehow but that his means of procurement remained a mystery, the children of area father Don Griffith, 42, confirmed Friday they have no idea where he gets his shirts. \u201cWe know he gets new ones, because he\u2019ll wear the same old stuff for a long time and then all of a sudden he\u2019ll put on some sort of plaid Nautica golf shirt we\u2019ve never seen him in before,\u201d said Don Griffith Jr., 14, noting that the only exceptions were his father\u2019s T-shirts, which usually featured written phrases indicating where he got them from. \u201cI don\u2019t even know when he would have time to go out and buy them. It seems like he\u2019s usually with us when he\u2019s not working. Maybe there\u2019s a shirt store by his office?\u201d At press time, the children realized that, oh, right, Mom buys them."}